You would be wise to distance yourself from a narcissist and to abstain from a close relationship with a person who exhibits such traits as it will bing you pain. There are practical reasons why such uncaring narcissists tend to be successful in many areas of life, such as in business, in politics, and in domineering others. First of all, they believe themselves to be the most important people in the world and have an image of grandiosity as well as immense self-importance lacking empathy. These traits provide them with the vision that they will be great leaders. For this reason, they will say anything to arrive at the top. Such narcissists are to be found in all fields, even in the offices of those professional people whom we generally take for granted as trustworthy. If you are involved with a narcissist, you should “not” put off the inevitable escape. Rather, you urgently need to plan an escape route.
Narcissists exploit others for their own gain while lacking empathy for their prey. People merely serve to meet the narcissist’s personal needs. Narcissists only act kindly toward others in order to gain something like constant admiration, compliments, status, and money. In particular, narcissist alpha males tend to rise to the top in politics and business because they have no remorse about belittling others behind their backs as long as it will help them obtain their self-serving goals. Even narcissist women use their powers to achieve personal gain, especially when they belittle their female colleagues who pose a threat. One encounters such narcissistic people even in the psychologist’s lounge or amongst the faculty of school districts and prestigious universities. This article aims to provide readers with examples of narcissists so that readers themselves will have the wisdom to escape from narcissistic abusers or defend themselves as soon as possible.
Many narcissists are intellectually endowed and know how to protect their own terrain from anyone deemed a personal threat. From the first time they meet others, such remorseless narcissists create false stories to turn others against those who might pose obstacles. One such narcissist told his colleagues unflattering, untruthful things about a friend because he did not want his mutual friend to get tenure at his university. The individuals who heard those untruths later discovered that those tales were falsities; unfortunately, it was already too late when the truth was discovered.
A narcissistic psychologist with many years of experience told numerous people that his ex-girlfriend was lazy, that she refused to work and wasted all of his money leaving him poor. He had been writing a book about how she had been a narcissistic abuser of men; yet, he failed to mention to his readers that he was the one who told her to give up her job and who later abandoned her unexpectedly one day after having isolated her from her profession. It turned out that once the narcissist left her, she continued successfully in her profession, a blessing in disguise as she probably saw it.
There are some narcissistic psychologists out there in the real world since this personality disorder knows no boundaries. Such professionals potentially cause their clients’ problems to get worse. Therefore, if a patient has a strange feeling that a psychologist is not helping but is hindering, it might be time to report the misbehavior and to change therapists or find a life coach.
Examples of narcissists abound in all fields as there is no shortage of them. For example, another university professor attacked one of his colleagues for fear that his colleague might have a special opportunity that he, too, wanted. He deliberately caused his colleague to be fired by belittling him to all others who worked with them, to supervisors and staff alike. In fact, this university professor (who often bragged about this) was proud until the day he died for having caused a potential competitor and dependents to have financial difficulty. Notwithstanding, the colleague-friend who had been fired remained a loyal friend for life, never having realized exactly what had caused him to be fired in the first place. Oddly, a person with narcissistic personality disorder blames others for the narcissism and laughs about it while feeling proud for having hurt his or her friends because this gives narcissists more power.
Narcissistic parents sway back and forth between thinking their children are the best people on the face of the earth and putting those same children down for not being good enough. One day the child is “too stupid”, and the next day he is a genius. Children of narcissists are put down for being “too fat” or they are applauded by their narcissistic parents for being marvelous runway models. No doubt, narcissists do not hesitate to hurt their own children if hurting them serves their own narcissistic needs.
Narcissistic women like to target other females, especially on the job. This is a common means by which they reach the top. Upon receiving her doctorate, an educator accused her colleague of being incompetent because she needed to use the funds from her competitor’s salary to pay for her own salary increase. By running her colleague out of the school system, this narcissistic educator assured she wouldn’t have further competition. Not only did this narcissistic teacher act superior to her other female peers, but she also frightened students who reported she was pretentious and cruel. Notwithstanding, she worked her way to the top in her field and achieved monetary success by attaining a high position.
Narcissists do not feel any guilt when they belittle others for their inferior looks or inferior intelligence. They expect others to cater to their needs in every way. They refuse to pay their employees when possible and will do anything to reach the highest positions in government offices. For instance, there was a narcissist who felt no remorse for cheating on his wife and handling women inappropriately as he thought his high status entitled him to objectify women. Moreover, he accused older women of being “nasty” merely because he wanted to reach his goals no matter how many smart women were hurt along the way. A similar narcissist said all women over forty should be ignored and told his children women should be sent out to sea at a certain age.
Some narcissists alienate their children from the other parent. Perhaps female narcissists tend to do this more than men, but male narcissists have been known to hide their children from their mothers. There are no ends to what a narcissist will do to reach his or her goals. Most people are apt to be fooled by such an egotistical mentality because they would not act in such a manner. Thus, most people are unprepared to deal with narcissistic personality disorder.
You are in a relationship with a narcissist if he or she often expresses grandiose superiority over others. If he or she puts you down for your looks, or if he brags about hurting others, it is time to cut the ties and to get away from the narcissist before he or she makes you feel the pain that can scar you and others for life. The narcissist will tell you anything you want to hear and will win many arguments in both public and private sectors. It will probably be difficult for you to understand those people who seem to lack a soul, who only care about themselves no matter what heights they reach on the job. Narcissists who become leaders do not think twice before putting others into dangerous situations because narcissists are not servants of the people; they serve themselves alone. Readers would be wise to distance themselves from narcissists no matter how much narcissists can be fun and respected by those whom they blind. Keep in mind that narcissists tell abundant lies to get their way and that they expect others to go along with all of their wishes. They fight and then make peace for the time being until they abandon others who are no longer useful. Moreover, they tend to get their friends into trouble (or to let friends be scapegoats) as did the psychologist who bragged about making his friend lose his job.
In order to leave a narcissist: (1) Set strong boundaries and cut off contact; (2) Find a new hobby to fill your time and make new friends with positive values who care about helping others; (3) Write about your feelings in a journal; (4) Seek therapy or a life coach if you believe you need it; and (5) Have faith in yourself. Know that a good man or woman who appreciates you for yourself is somewhere out there in the world. The narcissist will only pretend to change and then try to lure you into his sphere again where he will exploit you if you let him do so, but as soon as he tricks you into spending more time with him, the narcissist will return to his old ways. It is advisable to extract oneself from such dishonest, self-serving people as narcissists before their kingdom begins to tumble over leaving the victimized ones to pick up the pieces. Following such a narcissist is like denying that an emperor “has no clothes” only to make a foolish leader happy in such a story as the one by the Dutch author Hans Christian Anderson.