Ask Amy: Daughter-in-law doesn’t want to forgive adultery

After she decided to stop running around, her husband welcomed her back immediately and acted as though nothing had ever happened.

My father-in-law told me that I was also to act like nothing had ever happened and that this was forgiveness. That directive destroyed any remaining feelings I had for either of them.

I have made peace with this, but the respect I used to have for them is gone.

They want it all to be puppy dogs and rainbows again, but I am not capable of that.

I am polite; I go to family gatherings, but it feels like a chore. My husband tells me he understands (he is disappointed, too), but I know he would like me to be friendlier. I just can’t.

I would feel best not having to be around them at all, but we want our kids to see their grandparents.

What would you recommend?

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Daughter-in-law doesn’t want to forgive adultery

After she decided to stop running around, her husband welcomed her back immediately and acted like nothing had ever happened. My father-in-law told me that I was also to act like nothing had ever happened, and that this was forgiveness. That directive destroyed any remaining feelings I had for either of them.

I have made peace with this, but the respect I used to have for them is gone. They want it all to be puppy dogs and rainbows again, but I am not capable of that. I am polite; I go to family gatherings, but it feels like a chore. My husband tells me he understands (he is disappointed, too), but I know he would like me to be friendlier. I just can’t.

I would feel best not having to be around them at all, but we want our kids to see their grandparents. What would you recommend?

UNFORGIVING

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